Okay you guys, I know I promised there'd be a funny long post by now but honestly I have nothing whatever to talk about. I don't feel like whining. This is a very new situation for me. I"m actually, in this bubble of time, left hanging with nothing to be particularly annoyed at. I think I'm sick.
Hey y'all how's it going? Speaking of sickness, a couple of weeks back, I threw a sissy fit and threw away a tub of strawberry yogurt because there was this weird fluid-y thing on top. I realized AFTERWARDS that the liquid didn't necessarily mean my glorified milk was possessed. As you can imagine, my mom got pretty mad because yogurt is basically the only calcium-rich thing I eat (chocolate and ice-cream are apparently not calcium-rich. Well, hell, now what's my excuse?) and yesterday she made me research the calcium requirement of a teenage girl and what can happen if you don't drink your delicious cow secretions. So I started looking this stuff up because my mom gets mad fast and fury, unfortunately, does not impair her aim.
Pretty soon I discovered that I had osteoporosis. I went through the symptoms and causes and everything and I figured out that I was, incredibly, suffering from osteoporosis. That stuff they put up about it affecting only women above sixty five? All crap. So after that, I got pretty freaked out. I mean, I'd had a major disease all this time and not even been aware of it. So I looked up some more diseases. And by the end of half an hour I was amazed that I was alive. I have every single symptom of every disease I read about. It said a symptom of chicken pox was itching. AS SOON AS I FREAKING READ IT my shoulder started. One of the main indicators of dengue is sudden and abrupt fevers. No sooner had I finished reading the sentence than I felt my face and realized it was burning hot. Like, wow. I went through twenty seven diseases and I have around twelve of them. I've decided not to worry about it though, like Mark Twain says, "Be careful about reading health books. You might die of a misprint."
Okay, the actual reason for all that shameless hyperbole in the previous paragraph was because I think people nowadays are kind of.... let's say, um, interested in their health. Which is not a bad thing at all because it is true that what with global warming, pollution and all that terrible music coming out, 2012 is a pretty bad place to be in health-wise. This is without even taking into consideration the end of the world in December. That being said, while I agree it's important to eat vegetables and exercise, doing this to the point where you're excluding anything else is not healthy at all. It's actually intensely damaging to your physical and mental well-being. It's also CRAZY to avoid things that you NEED for daily life just so that you can apparently live longer. For example, it is true that there are millions of germs living on toilet seats. But then again, there are also millions of germs living on your hands. It's fine for your butt to make contact with the seat, just like it's fine to shake hands with someone as long as your hygiene levels are okay.
You know how a couple of centuries ago we were paranoid about black cats and full moons? Even though science has come along and destroyed all those theories, it has also created a lot of new completely rubbish superstitions. I read the science section of the newspaper everyday and most of the "facts" and "studies have shown's" that they give you today are generally the opposite of what they told you last week and then tomorrow they'll probably be like, "Whoops, sorry, we were right the first time." Although we are right about a lot of things at this point, there's still an entire universe that we don't know anything about yet. It's okay to accept that there are still phenomena that we can't explain yet. Unfortunately a lot of people are not comfortable with this fact and publish, in some cases, absolute bogus without any factual scientific evidence. Whoah, I do have something to whine about. Oh, good. I was worried there for a second.
I actually have a lot more to say on this topic but it's eleven fifty-eight again so I'm just going to go. Good night! mwaaaahhzzz
LOOK A FOLLOW BUTTON!!!
Hey y'all how's it going? Speaking of sickness, a couple of weeks back, I threw a sissy fit and threw away a tub of strawberry yogurt because there was this weird fluid-y thing on top. I realized AFTERWARDS that the liquid didn't necessarily mean my glorified milk was possessed. As you can imagine, my mom got pretty mad because yogurt is basically the only calcium-rich thing I eat (chocolate and ice-cream are apparently not calcium-rich. Well, hell, now what's my excuse?) and yesterday she made me research the calcium requirement of a teenage girl and what can happen if you don't drink your delicious cow secretions. So I started looking this stuff up because my mom gets mad fast and fury, unfortunately, does not impair her aim.
Pretty soon I discovered that I had osteoporosis. I went through the symptoms and causes and everything and I figured out that I was, incredibly, suffering from osteoporosis. That stuff they put up about it affecting only women above sixty five? All crap. So after that, I got pretty freaked out. I mean, I'd had a major disease all this time and not even been aware of it. So I looked up some more diseases. And by the end of half an hour I was amazed that I was alive. I have every single symptom of every disease I read about. It said a symptom of chicken pox was itching. AS SOON AS I FREAKING READ IT my shoulder started. One of the main indicators of dengue is sudden and abrupt fevers. No sooner had I finished reading the sentence than I felt my face and realized it was burning hot. Like, wow. I went through twenty seven diseases and I have around twelve of them. I've decided not to worry about it though, like Mark Twain says, "Be careful about reading health books. You might die of a misprint."
Okay, the actual reason for all that shameless hyperbole in the previous paragraph was because I think people nowadays are kind of.... let's say, um, interested in their health. Which is not a bad thing at all because it is true that what with global warming, pollution and all that terrible music coming out, 2012 is a pretty bad place to be in health-wise. This is without even taking into consideration the end of the world in December. That being said, while I agree it's important to eat vegetables and exercise, doing this to the point where you're excluding anything else is not healthy at all. It's actually intensely damaging to your physical and mental well-being. It's also CRAZY to avoid things that you NEED for daily life just so that you can apparently live longer. For example, it is true that there are millions of germs living on toilet seats. But then again, there are also millions of germs living on your hands. It's fine for your butt to make contact with the seat, just like it's fine to shake hands with someone as long as your hygiene levels are okay.
You know how a couple of centuries ago we were paranoid about black cats and full moons? Even though science has come along and destroyed all those theories, it has also created a lot of new completely rubbish superstitions. I read the science section of the newspaper everyday and most of the "facts" and "studies have shown's" that they give you today are generally the opposite of what they told you last week and then tomorrow they'll probably be like, "Whoops, sorry, we were right the first time." Although we are right about a lot of things at this point, there's still an entire universe that we don't know anything about yet. It's okay to accept that there are still phenomena that we can't explain yet. Unfortunately a lot of people are not comfortable with this fact and publish, in some cases, absolute bogus without any factual scientific evidence. Whoah, I do have something to whine about. Oh, good. I was worried there for a second.
I actually have a lot more to say on this topic but it's eleven fifty-eight again so I'm just going to go. Good night! mwaaaahhzzz
LOOK A FOLLOW BUTTON!!!
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