Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Redbird And The Defenders Of Justice

[Eleventh part of the Tale of Redbird! The rest of it can be accessed by the simple expedient of following the link on the right and I hope you enjoy this episode]

          When Redbird came to she was in a dim, dark place, surrounded by unfamiliar faces. There was a general outcry as she opened her eyes, and a rough, jeering voice exclaimed. “Look comrades, our pretty boy’s awakin’!”

          “Where am I?” she asked, sitting up and putting a hand to her throbbing head.

          Muttering broke out all around her, and then the voice spoke again. “Well, well, well,” it said, and there was something dark and menacing in its tone, “Looks like it’s not a pretty boy at all but a little lady! What call does a little lady have, lads, to go galloping around the countryside on a great brown horse wearing a man’s leggings?”

          “Who are you, and where have you brought me?” demanded Redbird, trying to decide which was more vexing- the pounding of her heart or the pounding of her head. “I warn you- you’ll be in trouble when my companions come to find me!”

          A great roar of laughter sounded at this, and a man broke free from the general group, a dirty, hairy man. He might have been Hedwin’s double, except that he was a little shorter than Hedwin had been. He had the same hungry eyes and rough, unshaven countenance.

          “They’ll have to find you first, won’t they, my little lady?” asked the man, and Redbird recognized him as the owner of the jeering voice. “And it’s verrry hard to find the Defenders of Justice when they don’t want to be found.”

          The group in the room roared their assent to this, and a small, sniveling man near the front said, snorting unpleasantly as he spoke, “Besides, they’ll have to realize that they’ve lost you before they start to look for you, little lady! They just went galloping on after you fell, with nary a thought to spare for their fair companion.”

          Another gale of laughter broke out.

          Redbird decided that she did not want to lie on a table and be gawked at a by a group of boors any more, whether they defended justice or not, and she jumped off. Muttering rose again, and a voice cried out, “She’s armed lads! That’s a dirty great sword she’s got hanging from her belt!” Another voice cried out, “Now, don’t try anything or we’ll kill you as soon as look at you!”

          The men surged around her a little more closely and Redbird unsheathed her blade.

“You’ll stay away unless you want a taste of my steel!” she cried, making up for what she lacked in height and strength by ferocity of tone. “I don’t plan to hurt any of you, or try to escape, so there’s no need for any of this.”

          The small, sallow man spoke again. “If that’s so, my lady, you’ll oblige us by unbuckling your sword, yes and that knife you’ve got on the other side, and laying them down on the table behind you.”

          “Oh yes, and let one of you steal them from me,” said Redbird, deciding that the wisest way to deal with these ruffians would be to pretend an absolute indifference to them. “Likely!”

          Hedwin, as Redbird decided to name him, raised a fist threateningly at Redbird. “Watch your mouth, lass,” he growled, “Or I’ll bust all the teeth out of it.”

          If he had expected to cow Redbird by this threat, he was mistaken. She had grown up with an elder brother who was just as much of a bully as this man seemed to be, and she knew how to handle bullies.

          “You should be ashamed of yourself!” she said, roundly, “What would your mother say if she saw you behaving like this?”

          Thoroughly flabbergasted, Hedwin lapsed into a sullen silence and Redbird took the opportunity to look around her. She was in some sort of underground hideaway, she guessed, basing this opinion on the tree roots that were emerging thickly from the ceiling. It was done up in the nature of a house, but a heavy layer of filth lay over everything around, so that Redbird could not see two inches of dirt-free space together.

          “And what would your mother say if she saw you living in muck like this!” she said, in open disgust. 

          “Look here, lass,” snapped another of the men around her, “We’re not your brothers or children to be spoken to in this way! You just remember the situation you’re in and keep your mouth shut. Your companions’ll pay us a pretty piece if they want to see you alive again, and they might not get you back in the condition they left you if you don’t stow your gabbing.”

          “Do as you please,” said Redbird, “But there’s no call for us to be unpleasant to each other in the meantime, is there? Why don’t I make you all some food- stew maybe, or some meat and chips, while we’re waiting for my friends?”

          From the expressions on the faces of the men around her as she made this offer, Redbird guessed that good food was hard to come by in this den of thieves.

          “Look,” she said, “I promise not to try anything funny, and as a sign of good faith, I’ll leave my knife and sword over here, and trust you not to take it.”

          “Well,” said the sallow man, subdued but defensive. “You’d better not try anything or we’ll teach you better sense with the backs of our hands.”

          “Alright,” agreed Redbird affably. “Flying Zipporah, what a state this place is in! Haven’t any of you ever heard of brooms or dusters?”

          One of the slower of the Defenders of Justice, not realizing that Redbird was indulging in sarcasm, said ponderously, “Of course we have! You needn’t think so highly of yourself, miss, because of your fine clothes. We’re just as civilized as you are. There’s a broom and duster right under there.”

          “Why, so there is,” said Redbird cordially, following the direction of his pointing finger and pulling out these items. “Then you’ll just make yourself useful and start sweeping this floor a bit, won’t you? And how do you expect me to make you any food, without water and firewood, and vegetables? If you want it in a hurry, you’d better start looking lively. Meanwhile, one of you can help me wash some of these dirty dishes.”

          Slowly, as though unsure of why they were allowing themselves to be bossed around by a slip of a girl, the men started carrying out her instructions. Soon, most of the superfluous filth of the hideaway had been cleaned away, a pot of stew was bubbling on the fire, and Hedwin was setting the table with the newly washed dishes.

          Redbird meanwhile had been thinking of her plan to escape. She could do nothing at this point, but trust the elves to find her, and it occurred to her that Nirulin’s sharp ears might pick up her voice if she made it loud enough.

          Accordingly, she sang as she stirred the stew and bustled around the room, dusting here and there, adjusting, tweaking and making a heap of all the dirty laundry she found. She had almost forgotten where she was and what she was doing when she turned and found the whole room of men gaping at her as though she was a giraffe.

          “What are you staring at?” said Redbird, self-consciously, “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard singing before!”

          The slow one said, in his strained way that made it seem as though each word cost him labour, “Oh, don’t stop, lass! That’s lovely, that is.”

          He got a clout on the head for taking such a liberty, but Redbird laughed and said, “Why don’t you teach me one you know and then we can all sing together.”

          There was an uneasy silence for a while, and then the slow one said again, “We could sing the anthem of the Defenders of Justice.”

          He was hit once more, this time with a frying pan that Redbird had just washed.
          Thinking regretfully that she would have to rinse it again, Redbird said, “Well, just sing it once for me, and I’ll pick it up.”

          The young man began to sing in a tentative tenor, and since he was subjected to no further violence, he felt emboldened to continue.

          “Pull out your pitchforks from the hay,
          Lay down your sheaves, my men,
          And until we get what’s due to us,
          We won’t begin again!
          They can call 'taxes' till they’re blue,
          But we’re right so sod the fools,
          And when the fields are red with blood,
          We’ll bring the harvest in!”

          A low rumbling sounded and Redbird realized that all the Defenders were singing the chorus with the boy.

          “Oh, run them through, the scaly thieves,
          Stab them with your knives!
          They’ve tortured and encumbered us,
          Now they’ll pay with their lives!
          Burn ‘em, beat ‘em, bash ‘em, cheat ‘em,
          Each man for his own!
          And when the fields are drenched in blood,
          We’ll pay taxes to the throne!”

          Soon Redbird was roaring the chorus along with the best of them, and it was this scene that the bemused elven princes found when they burst into the keep of the Defenders of Justice.

          The Defenders stopped mid-song and looked at the princes. The princes looked at the Defenders and then at Redbird. Redbird untied the apron she had assumed for the purpose of making dinner, and said, cheerfully, “Well, boys, I’ll be going now. Your dinner’s on the fire and see that you don’t let the place get so dirty again.”

          “Hold on just a minute,” growled Hedwin, pushing his chair back so that it fell to the ground with a clatter. “Where’s the ransom? If you think you can get away for free without some broken bones, we’ll just show you why you’re mistaken.”

          Nirulin shot an arrow that missed Hedwin’s neck by a hair’s breadth and embedded itself, still quivering slightly, into the wall behind him.

          “If you have hurt a single hair on our companion’s head, you will regret it,” he said.

          The men stirred at this and a few picked up the weapons that lay at hand.

          “Ho!” said Hedwin, “And are you going to be the one who makes us regret it? I could thrash you with one hand tied behind my back, my pretty lordling.”

          “Either of us would require no more than a finger to punish you for your impertinence,” said Eohin haughtily, and Redbird resisted the urge to roll her eyes at this manly discussion.

          “You tricked us,” said the young boy, in a voice so hurt that Redbird almost felt guilty. “You got us to sing so that they could find us.”

          “Alright, everyone calm down,” said Redbird, “You Defenders of Justice have got an important job to do here, don’t you? You’ve got to rid the land of the injustices of the king. You can’t afford to waste time and energy fighting us who aren’t even your enemies. Besides, these aren’t ordinary humans you see before you. It would be wisest just to let us go on our way peacefully.”

          “And how do we know you won’t inform on us to the King’s men?” asked the sallow man, moustache quivering.

          “Do they look like the spies of a peasant king?” asked Redbird, gesturing to the elves, who seemed to fill up the underground hideaway with their height and splendor.

          “Well, get along with you then” growled Hedwin angrily, stomping over to the table and sitting down. “Before we change our minds about letting you go.”

          “Goodbye,” said Redbird, “And good luck!”


          “Blasted women!” came the answer, and that was the last Redbird ever saw or heard of the Defenders of Justice.

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