Hey, I've just realized that after I publish this post, I will have posted once every day for the past four days. This has become a daily thing! Isn't this great? You can go to bed today secure in the knowledge that there WILL be another post tomorrow. (Cue group "Noooo!") Yes, yes I am threatening you. I'm hoping that at some point someone will actually PAY me to stop posting crap on the internet. And THAT ladies and gentlemen, is my plan to earn money for college. Feel free to emulate.
Hey y'all how's it going? Good? Great. Today's fascinating monologue is going to be about my mother. Now, I know it's not exactly cool or normal for a fifteen year old girl to feel this way, but I really love my Mum. She's a great person and I genuinely enjoy spending time with her. We get along better than most on the mutual agreement that we don't interfere with each other too much. By that I don't mean we don't have fights sometimes where we shriek at each other and lie on the floor screaming and flailing. I am a regular teenager to some extent and some things about my Mom really, REALLY annoy me. We actually had one of those fights an hour ago and I have calmed down to the point where I've stopped muttering angrily and throwing things, so I've decided to make a list of the things my Mom does that irritate me and post it on-line. See how much I sacrifice for you guys? I'm not going to get an allowance for the next three weeks.
Seven things I hate about my Mom:
(Sha...... sha)
1. Sometimes if I'm on Facebook or something and I see a funny picture, I call Mum over to look at it. So she looks, and we're both like "OMG LOL ROFLMAO" and then she DOESN'T LEAVE. She just stays there watching. Using the internet when your Mum's watching is the. Most. Awkward. Thing. Ever. I have to scroll down really slowly and hope nobody posted anything stupid.
2. So after I'm done showing my Mum the funny photo, and after I cough a couple of times in a don't-you-have-a-velociraptor-to-hit-with-a-banana sort of way, she leaves the room again. Here's what annoys me. She NEVER SHUTS THE DOOR. It's not that I'm watching porn or anything, I just like my privacy. (No, really Mum, if you're reading this, I don't watch porn. Stop checking the browsing history.)
3. She is partial to my sister. All the time. See, I'm the eldest of three, and my little brother is autistic, which is why I completely understand that he gets a lot of attention and cookies, but why does my sister get more support than I do? For example, I recently got a new phone, an expensive one for which I have to pay half the amount (Thanks Mum. Love you too) and today I asked my sister to take care of it for forty-five minutes while I went for my piano class, because I was wearing Jeggings and you CANNOT fit a Samsung Galaxy into those pockets. After my class, I came out and my mobile was lying on a seat in a public place and my sister was gone. Naturally I was pissed off because I'm extremely careless with my things and I hate it when other people are. I feel like they're doing my job or something. So I stormed to the car, where my Mom and sis were waiting, in full Righteous Indignation mode and I started yelling at her. And then Mum took her side. She said it was my fault for a) buying things without functional pockets and b)taking my phone outside when I don't have functional pockets.What?! Ugh!!
4. This is something that she probably does for my own good and that I shouldn't feel so annoyed about, but I really, really hate it. When I'm sitting in my room and I'm supposed to be studying, she sometimes opens the door, puts her head in, watches me for a few moments and then leaves. This pisses me off so much and I can't explain why. I know she's doing it because I really should be studying and she wants to make sure I do but it makes me want to listen to death metal and kill fluffy things. I need therapy.
5. The fifth thing my Mom does that annoys me is when I tell her I want to do something crazy fun, but also crazy stupid/irresponsible, she says no, we argue for a while and then she says, "Do whatever you want." I HATE that sentence. It's like the ultimate Mom weapon.
6. She compares me to my cousins. Period.
7. She makes me love her (D'aww! Thank you Miley!!)
LOOK A FOLLOW BUTTON!! CLICK ON IT!! No? Fine. Do whatever you want.
(EDIT: I just realized I didn't post anything on Thursday. Fail!)
Hey y'all how's it going? Good? Great. Today's fascinating monologue is going to be about my mother. Now, I know it's not exactly cool or normal for a fifteen year old girl to feel this way, but I really love my Mum. She's a great person and I genuinely enjoy spending time with her. We get along better than most on the mutual agreement that we don't interfere with each other too much. By that I don't mean we don't have fights sometimes where we shriek at each other and lie on the floor screaming and flailing. I am a regular teenager to some extent and some things about my Mom really, REALLY annoy me. We actually had one of those fights an hour ago and I have calmed down to the point where I've stopped muttering angrily and throwing things, so I've decided to make a list of the things my Mom does that irritate me and post it on-line. See how much I sacrifice for you guys? I'm not going to get an allowance for the next three weeks.
Seven things I hate about my Mom:
(Sha...... sha)
1. Sometimes if I'm on Facebook or something and I see a funny picture, I call Mum over to look at it. So she looks, and we're both like "OMG LOL ROFLMAO" and then she DOESN'T LEAVE. She just stays there watching. Using the internet when your Mum's watching is the. Most. Awkward. Thing. Ever. I have to scroll down really slowly and hope nobody posted anything stupid.
2. So after I'm done showing my Mum the funny photo, and after I cough a couple of times in a don't-you-have-a-velociraptor-to-hit-with-a-banana sort of way, she leaves the room again. Here's what annoys me. She NEVER SHUTS THE DOOR. It's not that I'm watching porn or anything, I just like my privacy. (No, really Mum, if you're reading this, I don't watch porn. Stop checking the browsing history.)
3. She is partial to my sister. All the time. See, I'm the eldest of three, and my little brother is autistic, which is why I completely understand that he gets a lot of attention and cookies, but why does my sister get more support than I do? For example, I recently got a new phone, an expensive one for which I have to pay half the amount (Thanks Mum. Love you too) and today I asked my sister to take care of it for forty-five minutes while I went for my piano class, because I was wearing Jeggings and you CANNOT fit a Samsung Galaxy into those pockets. After my class, I came out and my mobile was lying on a seat in a public place and my sister was gone. Naturally I was pissed off because I'm extremely careless with my things and I hate it when other people are. I feel like they're doing my job or something. So I stormed to the car, where my Mom and sis were waiting, in full Righteous Indignation mode and I started yelling at her. And then Mum took her side. She said it was my fault for a) buying things without functional pockets and b)taking my phone outside when I don't have functional pockets.What?! Ugh!!
4. This is something that she probably does for my own good and that I shouldn't feel so annoyed about, but I really, really hate it. When I'm sitting in my room and I'm supposed to be studying, she sometimes opens the door, puts her head in, watches me for a few moments and then leaves. This pisses me off so much and I can't explain why. I know she's doing it because I really should be studying and she wants to make sure I do but it makes me want to listen to death metal and kill fluffy things. I need therapy.
5. The fifth thing my Mom does that annoys me is when I tell her I want to do something crazy fun, but also crazy stupid/irresponsible, she says no, we argue for a while and then she says, "Do whatever you want." I HATE that sentence. It's like the ultimate Mom weapon.
6. She compares me to my cousins. Period.
7. She makes me love her (D'aww! Thank you Miley!!)
LOOK A FOLLOW BUTTON!! CLICK ON IT!! No? Fine. Do whatever you want.
(EDIT: I just realized I didn't post anything on Thursday. Fail!)
2 comments:
eh? which of your cousins does she compare you to? CANNOT BE ME anyhow!
ezracha :P
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