Rate that Flick!- The Dark Knight Rises

             I'm running out of ideas for things to write about. It's not that I don't feel like writing- if a point comes when I don't feel like writing, you can safely assume I'm dead- it's just that right now I'm expending all my creativity into different channels. It takes a lot of imagination to figure out nineteen different ways to get a Trig sum wrong and also I'm writing a book again, so there's not a lot of crazy left over for this blog.

           I write books like some people try to quit addictive substances, it goes well for a while but eventually the wagon is fell off (what is happening to my grammar? I think I must be high) and I feel horrible for some time. Then after a couple of months inspiration hits like a ton of bricks and the process starts all over again. This is the third book I've started so far and I really really think this one's a winner. Third times the charm, right? Because I need to give you guys something to giggle juvenile-ly about, my first book involved a bunch of X-men like teenagers, a lot of Hulk-like self-hatred and whole pages of "why can't I have a normal life?! Where is the justice, Universe?!" whining. To top it all off, there was a Twilight-esque love story thrown in. Aren't you glad I'm a quitter and that never got finished? In my defence, I was thirteen at the time. The second was waaaayy better, but I never had a real plot for that one so it ended up in the Folder of Unfinished Shame. I loved the characters I thought up though, so I'm planning to convert that to a book of short stories about Bangalore, because I <3 Bangalore muchly. And the third one's a secret but when it comes out, I expect all of you to buy it. I know where you live. I will find you and then talk really fast for a really long time until you go all J. Fry on me.

Hey y'all how's it going? As the more observant of you may have realized, this post is going to be about the most epic film I've seen in a long time.

This movie is awesome. Get your wife, kids, Aunt Jemima, the milkman, everybody and go watch this movie. That being said, don't rely completely on this post, we went to the pictures(LOL) as an end-of-tests celebration sort of thing, so we could probably have even sat through Ninja Hatthodi and come out whooping and swearing we'd never seen anything better.

Really, really quick outline: Batman's retired because his girlfriend died (grow up, ya freaking pansy. Yes, yes I'm an insensitive jerk) and everyone thinks he's a killer anyway. In other news, when the movie starts Harvey Dent, or Two-Face, is a hero and Bane is in Gotham and strewing bodies right, left and at an angle of forty-five degrees from the normal. 

Miranda Tate super-smart and sexy millionaire is flirting with Bruce Wayne, now a cripple, and equally hot Catwoman (Anne Hathaway!! I love you, Anne Hathaway!) who is five feet nine inches of shiny hair, brown eyes and class, is posing as a maid to steal his mother's pearls. None of that sounds like it makes sense but it worked, trust me, it worked. Anyway, the Catwoman's successful heist and the news that Wayne Enterprises is not making profits (huge gasp!) coupled with Blake's request (a detective) that he return to Gotham's crime scene, convince the dark knight to make a comeback in some insanely drool-worthy vehicles. After this things sort of go insane with Bane taking the city hostage, Wayne Enterprises going kablooie, and Bruce's nuclear fusion reactor being turned into an atom bomb which will ultimately be used to destroy Gotham. Catwoman sells out Batman, and after he fails to defeat Bane in hand-to-hand, he is thrown into a hellish foreign prison and forced to watch as Bane wreaks havoc in the city nearest to his heart. Oh, and before this he and Alfred have a fight because Alfred tells him love-of-his-life/reason-for-existence/ex-girlfriend Rachel actually wrote him a letter telling him she chose Harvey over him before she died, which Alfred destroyed to save Bruce pain. Major OMG moment, and then Alfred leaves Wayne Manor which is just heart-breaking. Shortly after Wayne Enterprises goes smash, thanks to Bane and one power-hungry  businessman who is eventually murdered after double-crossing both Batman and Catwoman, Bruce and Miss Tate hook up, after he leaves Wayne Enterprises in her hands and shows her where the fusion reactor is. 

SPOILER ALERT (If you do not want to know how the film ends, look away. Also, you should be ashamed that you haven't seen the movie yet. Very ashamed)

Miranda Tate is the bad guy and the daughter of Ras'al'Gul who escaped the prison, while Bane is her "protector" who helped her escape but remains in the prison, eventually leading to the disease which costs him his face. She sticks a knife into Batman after he defeats Bane and presses the detonator that will trigger the atomic bomb.  Catwoman kills Bane, Batman flies out on "The Bat" with the atomic bomb over the ocean and since he doesn't return, and it's common knowledge that the Bat's autopilot wasn't programmed, everyone believes he's dead and the city mourns. All the loose ends in the movie are tied up, Blake is Robin by the way, I had a mini fan-girl moment in between crying for Batman when I heard, and Batman is not dead because the silly billionaire genius programmed the autopilot six months ago. He marries Catwoman and they live happily ever after. SUCH A WIN.

On a scale of one to ten, definitely a twenty-six.

Have a good week! LOOK A FOLLOW BUTTON!!!