Yes, your butt looks big in that.

Wake up in the morning feelin' like... going back to sleep. Ke$ha, why do you know how P. Diddy feels like when he wakes up in the morning? How do you feel like that in the first place? Also, I don't know how to pronounce the dollar sign in your name (Ke-kaching-sha?) I wake up in the morning wishing fervently that a)it will snow and we will not have school b)the world will come to an end and we will not have school and c)I have contracted some rare disease that prevents me from going to school but not from using Facebook until my eyes shrivel up and drop out of their sockets. Okay, ew. That sounded good in my head but the mental image is quite disturbing. Great. Another thing to be paranoid about. Move over, strange irrational fear that head will fall off if not held in place. Does anyone else worry about that? Anyone?

That's what I look like in my head. Yes, I need help. In my defence, it's five in the morning.

Hey y'all how's it going? Last test today! 

 That's why I'm slavering in the picture above. Not that above, above-above. Jeez, are you blind? The picture of the thing with hair like Ke$ha's after she wakes up in the bathtub again. Oh, wait. Both the pictures look like that. It looks like bad slavering, like oh-look-a-tasty-village-girl slavering, but it's actually slavering of the purest, noblest kind. End-of-exams slavering. To celebrate that we have survived five weeks of ISC, and to acknowledge that we will be dead when the results come out and hence should have fun while we can, everyone's going to watch Batman! I'm excited. I was trying to decide what to wear. My shorts are ripped, which doesn't seem appropriate, but my skirt's in the laundry and I do not want to wear jeggings. By the way, a pair of jeggings was one of the things I swore I would only buy when all hell froze over, but I was too weak to resist the ultra-clinginess and smooth perfection of the fabric. Once again, ladies and the rest, it has been conclusively proven that Joanna Koshy has no principles. Yeah, I think I'll wear jeggings.

Did I mention before that it's mainly guys in ISC Science? I've realized lately that I interact better with them than the scarce population of girls in my class. It's not like I can't talk to the girls, it's just that to most of them I have no clue what to say. They're standing in the corners talking about this one's hair, and Justin Bieber, and Twilight, and I'm all like "How about them hair-straighteners, am I right ladies?" because that's the only topic we share a common interest in. (My hair is naturally straight, by the way. I don't know why I want a hair straightener, except that my Mom said I can't have one. Reverse psychology is a fearful and wonderful thing.)

I've been thinking about ways to improve the situation and, a result of much study and thought, I give you:

Five Things Not To Say To Girls:

1. How about them hair-straighteners, am I right ladies?

2.  You and your boyfriend are so cute together! In the dark.

3. Real vampires don't sparkle and Edward Cullen is cheating on Bella with Jacob.

4. I like you because of your beautiful soul. (Girls hate it when people say this. Apparently only ugly people have beautiful souls.)

5. So, which of your parents is a raccoon? 

The list was originally going to be ten evil comments long, but it took time to draw a picture so I cut it down to five. Once again I give you neither quality nor quantity. Um, look, a follow button?