<Scene: A Classroom. Enter a Parent and Child. They walk to a table at which a Teacher is seated and sit down>
Teacher: So you're the parent of this blister.
Parent (under strict orders from child to say nothing at all): (noncommittally) mmpph.
Teacher: I don't blame you for keeping silent. I should hesitate myself to admit that I was responsible for the existence of this pestilent slug. I'm sorry, Bottom, did you speak?
Child (sullenly): I didn't say anything.
Teacher: I should hope not. Mrs. Bottom, here is your son's report card and a box of tissues. Glance at that document. Run your eye over it in an open-minded spirit. I request you not to faint, madam, because the last parent who did that struck his head on the edge of the table and received a concussion.
Parent (hopefully): Well, he's done better in Mathematics.
Teacher: He could hardly have done worse. Madam, I will put it plainly to you. Your son's performance is abysmal, your son himself is the most repellent abomination I have ever had the misfortune to encounter and the only good thing I have to say about him is that he makes the other earthworms in his class appear positively intelligent by comparison.
Parent: Surely it's not that bad.
Teacher: Madam, if every mark your son secured in the recent examination was a rupee, I would not have enough money to buy an onion.
Parent: (Defensively) well, he's been distracted by extra-curricular activities this term.
Teacher: Ah, yes. He is the leading light of our school's dramatic society. I was moved to tears by his portrayal of a tree in the recent play. He only missed his cue thrice, and merely knocked over the props once, and that too only in the second-most important scene, for which we were all grateful.
Parent: He's done extremely well in athletics.
Teacher: During one of our team sport activities, he made contact with the ball no fewer than fifty-eight times.
Parent: Surely that's a good thing.
Teacher: We were playing dodgeball.
Parent (standing up): I think we've had quite enough of this.
Teacher: Oh, are you leaving? Goodbye Mrs. Bottom, goodbye spawn of Satan. I'm afraid I'll see you again on Monday.
PTA Meetings. So much fun.
Teacher: So you're the parent of this blister.
Parent (under strict orders from child to say nothing at all): (noncommittally) mmpph.
Teacher: I don't blame you for keeping silent. I should hesitate myself to admit that I was responsible for the existence of this pestilent slug. I'm sorry, Bottom, did you speak?
Child (sullenly): I didn't say anything.
Teacher: I should hope not. Mrs. Bottom, here is your son's report card and a box of tissues. Glance at that document. Run your eye over it in an open-minded spirit. I request you not to faint, madam, because the last parent who did that struck his head on the edge of the table and received a concussion.
Parent (hopefully): Well, he's done better in Mathematics.
Teacher: He could hardly have done worse. Madam, I will put it plainly to you. Your son's performance is abysmal, your son himself is the most repellent abomination I have ever had the misfortune to encounter and the only good thing I have to say about him is that he makes the other earthworms in his class appear positively intelligent by comparison.
Parent: Surely it's not that bad.
Teacher: Madam, if every mark your son secured in the recent examination was a rupee, I would not have enough money to buy an onion.
Parent: (Defensively) well, he's been distracted by extra-curricular activities this term.
Teacher: Ah, yes. He is the leading light of our school's dramatic society. I was moved to tears by his portrayal of a tree in the recent play. He only missed his cue thrice, and merely knocked over the props once, and that too only in the second-most important scene, for which we were all grateful.
Parent: He's done extremely well in athletics.
Teacher: During one of our team sport activities, he made contact with the ball no fewer than fifty-eight times.
Parent: Surely that's a good thing.
Teacher: We were playing dodgeball.
Parent (standing up): I think we've had quite enough of this.
Teacher: Oh, are you leaving? Goodbye Mrs. Bottom, goodbye spawn of Satan. I'm afraid I'll see you again on Monday.
PTA Meetings. So much fun.
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