If you're anything like me (and hopefully, for the love of everything sacred, you're not), you are a flat-footed short Indian girl with big dreams and pretty much nothing else. No? Well, passing from the physical, let's consider the spiritual. Do you have no concept of time management? Are you a time-waster? A watch beater? Are you a Virgo?
If you answered yes, then, my child, I feel sorry for you. The path you are traversing is a long, dark, cold one, filled with toads and disappointment, that will ultimately end in loneliness, much comfort-eating and diabetes. To save you from your impending doom, I will narrate to you the several mistakes of my life in the hope that you at least can change your ways, even though it's too late for me. Although, if you really are anything like me, you probably won't. Anyway, read on.
My Chemistry teacher told us, at the beginning of our study holidays, that the period before the exam would be a time of self-discovery, a time to really find out What We're Made Of, to assess the deepest, darkest, vilest parts of our immortal souls. She was right. During the study holidays, I was forced to meditate deeply on my actions and my character, and scrutinize the very depths of the fibers of my being, in a process of enlightenment and self-realization. And what I found out about myself is that I'm a complete idiot. Here's why:
In the Beginning: God created heaven and earth (with apologies to any offended atheist readers. Feel free to call the wrath of Darwin down on me). A few millenia afterward, I sat down and drew up a timetable that fondly envisioned me studying fourteen hours a day, leaving eight hours for sleep and two hours for the other necessary functions like eating, bathing and Youtube.
On the First Day: I study diligently for three hours, and then get bored and read books/ draw things/ play the piano/ play the violin/ make noodles/ learn origami/ trim my toenails/ cut my fringe/ lie on my bed staring for hours at the ceiling pondering the meaning of life/ wonder why on earth I'm not studying. This pattern repeats several times.
Two Days Before the Exam: Realization hits and I am so horrified by the knowledge that I have spent the last million days doing absolutely nothing, and will now have to study thirty four hours a day to catch up, that I promptly decide there's no hope left and go to sleep.
One Day Before the Exam: I get into Super Student Mode and finish forty five chapters in less than over five hours.
One Day After the Exam: I sternly resolve never to put myself through such a harrowing experience again and then spend the time before the next exam doing exactly the same thing.
One Day After Results: I am dead, having been brutally murdered by my mother for my abysmal performance. On my tombstone is engraved in fancy script 'Joanna Koshy, Loving Daughter, Good Sister, Complete and Utter Moron'.
I've been reading Lord of the Rings again lately, and aside from the absolute magic of Tolkien's language, the internet is a treasure trove of joy and rainbows on the subject of Lord of the Rings. Although these are only drops in the ocean, here are a few gems I found, and you're welcome in advance.
If you answered yes, then, my child, I feel sorry for you. The path you are traversing is a long, dark, cold one, filled with toads and disappointment, that will ultimately end in loneliness, much comfort-eating and diabetes. To save you from your impending doom, I will narrate to you the several mistakes of my life in the hope that you at least can change your ways, even though it's too late for me. Although, if you really are anything like me, you probably won't. Anyway, read on.
My Chemistry teacher told us, at the beginning of our study holidays, that the period before the exam would be a time of self-discovery, a time to really find out What We're Made Of, to assess the deepest, darkest, vilest parts of our immortal souls. She was right. During the study holidays, I was forced to meditate deeply on my actions and my character, and scrutinize the very depths of the fibers of my being, in a process of enlightenment and self-realization. And what I found out about myself is that I'm a complete idiot. Here's why:
In the Beginning: God created heaven and earth (with apologies to any offended atheist readers. Feel free to call the wrath of Darwin down on me). A few millenia afterward, I sat down and drew up a timetable that fondly envisioned me studying fourteen hours a day, leaving eight hours for sleep and two hours for the other necessary functions like eating, bathing and Youtube.
On the First Day: I study diligently for three hours, and then get bored and read books/ draw things/ play the piano/ play the violin/ make noodles/ learn origami/ trim my toenails/ cut my fringe/ lie on my bed staring for hours at the ceiling pondering the meaning of life/ wonder why on earth I'm not studying. This pattern repeats several times.
Two Days Before the Exam: Realization hits and I am so horrified by the knowledge that I have spent the last million days doing absolutely nothing, and will now have to study thirty four hours a day to catch up, that I promptly decide there's no hope left and go to sleep.
One Day Before the Exam: I get into Super Student Mode and finish forty five chapters in less than over five hours.
One Day After the Exam: I sternly resolve never to put myself through such a harrowing experience again and then spend the time before the next exam doing exactly the same thing.
One Day After Results: I am dead, having been brutally murdered by my mother for my abysmal performance. On my tombstone is engraved in fancy script 'Joanna Koshy, Loving Daughter, Good Sister, Complete and Utter Moron'.
I've been reading Lord of the Rings again lately, and aside from the absolute magic of Tolkien's language, the internet is a treasure trove of joy and rainbows on the subject of Lord of the Rings. Although these are only drops in the ocean, here are a few gems I found, and you're welcome in advance.
My sister and I literally cried watching this video. One of the funniest things I've seen in a while.
I admit, I mostly watch this to look at Legolas, but it's also very funny. Lord of the Rings memes have a quality that's sadly lacking in future parodies. Save yourself some pain and don't watch the 'Where is the Rum Gone,' remix, that shows up in the related videos.
And, finally,
Have a good week!
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